So I have felt like my whole life I had been walking the Lords
path, but blind and in the darkness....just keeping up with
everyone else without seeing what they were seeing. I attended
relgioius education, bible studies, read the word, practiced my
faith and never felt like my heart was 100% there. maybe only 75%.
So I continued to pray to the Lord and explained to him that I have
an empty spot in my heart Lord and that I needed him to fill it.
Well, he wasn't willing to fill it until I was willing to recieve
his gifts. I was scared for so long to read certain sections in my
bible....ones that had to do with drinking and having sex. If I
were to read those sections then I knew what I was doing was wrong.
So I continued to act like I was living the word but was still a
partier on the side. Well I woke up in the middle of the night one
night and prayed to the Lord one last time asking him to please
fill that emptyness in my heart. The next morning my thoughts were
the Lords thoughts. I suddenly did not fear to verses in my bible
because I knew that I wanted to become of his teachings. I have
voted people off my Island. Not because I am judging them but
because my focus has to be on the Lord one hundred percent on the
lord Much as I would love my future husbands to be. i will never
find that husband until I am what I want to be because I will not
be able to offer what I want in return else wise. I now no longer
do the things I know I'm not suppose to be doing. I felt before as
if I were looking the Lord in the face and slapping him every time
I knew I was doing ill. Like it says in his words, all he would do
is....."But I tell you do not resist an evil person. And if someone
strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if
someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your
cloak as well.." Matthews 5: 39-41. "One night I dreamed I was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life
flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the
sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times
there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during
the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said
to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I
followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed
that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been
one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most,
have you not been there for me?†The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of
footprints, my child, is when I carried you.â€
